The other day, I came across a Reddit post titled *“they love me”* — just those two words, paired with a blurry photo of a post-it note stuck to a laptop. The comments made me laugh, but it also stuck with me. It felt like a tiny mirror held up to all of us who’ve ever posted something and nervously watched the likes roll in. You know the moment. That flicker of joy when someone hits ❤️, followed by the quiet panic of *“Wait… does this actually mean they care?”*
## The Allure of Artificial Affection
Online, love is easy to fake. Auto-reply bots, curated comments, algorithmically amplified content — it’s all designed to trick us into feeling seen. And hey, clout feels good. But there’s a difference between a *“Lovvvve it!!! 💖”* comment from a bot in a content mill and a text from a friend that says, *“Miss you. Let’s grab coffee.”* One plays on our craving for approval; the other shows up for the real, messy parts of life.
## Why the *“They Love Me”* Moment Isn’t Enough
Here’s what I’ve learned: Metrics aren’t love. Shares, comments, and subscribers? Fun, but temporary. Real love shows in actions you can’t code into a prompt. It’s the coworker who covers your shift because your kid’s sick. The partner who listens *without* interrupting to Google something. The stranger who pauses their day to help you pick up dropped groceries. So many of us are chasing digital validation but starving for authentic connection.
## How to Keep It Real
If we’re not careful, AI and social media can turn affection into transactional noise. Here’s what helps me cut through the fog:
– **Talk less, text slower:** Force yourself to wait 5 minutes before replying to a DM. See if what you *really* want to say is buried under panic to perform.
– **Do a love audit:** Who shows up for you offline? Who made you coffee last week? Who remembers your stupid preferences? Double down on those people.
– **Create friction:** Love can’t be optimized. Let your relationships get a little awkward, slow, or inconvenient again. That’s where the real stuff lives.
## Final Thought
AI might one day write poetry, dress our avatars, and mimic our gestures. But in my experience, it’s the unscripted moments that feel like love: the pauses, the laugh lines, the holy messiness of human behavior. So go ahead and post that selfie. But hide your phone for an hour after and see what it feels like to be loved without being watched.
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*What do you think? Can algorithms really replicate care — or does real connection still require some healthy inefficiency?* [Let’s discuss it somewhere that doesn’t sell our data](https://www.brennanbrown.com/relationships-in-the-digital-age)