If you’re familiar with the classic Gilbert and Sullivan song ‘I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General’, you might appreciate this humorous take on modern databases. A Reddit user recently shared a poem they wrote back in 2006, showcasing their creativity and database expertise.
The poem describes a modern major database, boasting features like concurrency, generous RAM for caching, and explicit data typing. It’s a fun read, and I’ve included it below:
‘I am the very model of a modern major database,
For gigabytes of information gathered out in userspace.
For banking applications to a website crackers will deface,
You access me from console or a spiffy user interface.
My multi-threaded architecture offers you concurrency,
And loads of RAM for caching things reduces query latency.
The data is correctly typed, a fact that I will guarantee,
Each datum has a data type, it’s specified explicitly.’
What I love about this poem is how it highlights the importance of data typing in a database. In a world where data is increasingly complex and diverse, having a well-designed database with explicit data types is crucial for ensuring data integrity and consistency.
Of course, the poem is also a lighthearted commentary on the evolution of databases. From banking applications to website crackers, the poem touches on the various use cases and challenges that modern databases face.
If you’re interested in reading more about databases and data typing, I recommend checking out the original post on the Python mailing list from 2006.
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*Further reading: [The importance of data typing in databases](https://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/the-importance-of-data-typing-in-sql-server)*